I have been trying to put one of my articles on this web site for over a year. Maybe it is fear of the unknown, fear of what people might say. I dont know. One thing I do know is that one reason is that I have no web site to send anyone to for further listings and/or purchasing. I still do not have a web site but I am compelled to write this. I know the more I read and the more I write that better I get at this. I have several small articles I have written. I tend toward two subject areas. That being history primarily the American Civil War and Technical material mostly computer related. This has nothing to do with either of those. Lets get started.

I happen to be in my mid 50s, a hard worker and love my work. I find myself in a strange position. Most of my work is contract or what is referred to as 1099. Some work is one day some are longer. Now they happen to be few and far between. Money is tight. I have a part time teaching gig with the local community college. That pays once, when the course is over. That happens to be in two weeks. I spend my spare time looking for work. There is not much out there, at least in the area that I happen to live.

I had lunch with a colleague the other day. We worked on a contract together for over a year. His employer told him that they could no longer afford him. And that this was his last day, turn in all company related material and identification. He is in his 50s also. Do you see where this is going? I hate myself for thinking this but it is out there and it is getting bigger. Why pay someone with 15-20 years experience when I can get someone right out of school and pay him/her next to nothing. I even approached an employment agency counselor with this very question "what effect does my age of 58 years have on me getting the job". Of course he said nothing. Well the real young guy with next to nothing in experience got the job. The employer sees my experience. I am applying for a job that might be below my usual pay and work ability. They think why hire him, something must be wrong, besides he is too old.

I can not even get in, to plead my case. I work rings around the young guys. I work now on and off with a 28 year old male. He has a hard time keeping two projects going at the same time. There is a lot of waiting in my line of work. So I look for more work to keep me busy. He sits there waiting while I have three, four or five projects going at once. That happens to be my work ethic. I give you, the employer your moneys worth. Besides my years bring to the table experience as to what works and what does not. I am a good listener and I am strong advocate of my beliefs, and a team player.

Now I have to find employment, not a job but some way to bring in a buck. All of my bills are overdue, my credit cards are behind and therefore I can not use them, the phone is ringing. Getting a job outside of my chosen profession will tie me down as to how and when I can look for, apply, and go to interviews, for jobs that I would much rather have.

For a single male in his 50s there is no mechanism for assistance. I went to the state Welfare office. Would you believe that because I have no job I am not eligible for medical assistance and because I have no job and no visible means of paying back the grant I am not eligible for that either. I am eligible for $125.00 in food stamps. I contacted a state senators office. The assistant tried but came up dry. I went to Catholic Charities. Now this is a charity. I have no job, no visible way to repay the grant, that being $200.00, so I am not eligible. They work like a bank. I would like a loan, you cant have it because you dont have that much money in our bank. If I had the money I would not need a loan. I went to several pastors. There is no form of assistance. I told all of these people that all I needed was some way to get back on my feet. I will work for you or anyone you like to help in repayment. They all say that they are not employment agencies and do not work that way.

Our world has become very lopsided and leaning toward survival of oneself and not others. If I have a job and can work why cant you?. There are many reasons, to many to talk about here for the plight of an individual. I pride myself on my love of the human race and of all mankind. I treat all as I would want to be treated. Society has become very self oriented and look out for yourself even at that expense of others. What happened to "be kind to your neighbor"?

I might sound very pessimistic and angry. Angry I am, pessimistic I am not. I will get out of this situation and be a better person for it. One thing is for sure, if I happen to be in a position that I am able to help a needy individual, I will make every effort to do so. I have a love for my fellow man. Man referring to both genders. A sexist I am not. Maybe a little too old fashion when it comes to how a woman should be treated. Material for another article.

In closing I apologize for this ranting and raving. It happens to be therapeutic for me to vent my frustration... Is there any one out there that would be in the need of an individual that has experience in computers, networking and technical training? Send me an email. Relocation might be possible. I write a little to. Any work in that area?

I hope that I have not violated any guidelines for posting of this article. I would like to post this one and am hopeful of more to follow. I have not had the joy of seeing anything that I have written published. I can be reached at cstep@3rdm.net. No web site as of yet. Soon I hope. I answer all of my legitimate emails, so please have a subject listed and a name of some sort. My spam filter works overtime. I would not want to miss any criticism. How is my writing style? What improvements can I make? This is new to me and I would like some input. The subject material is true. An email, with comments, are what I am looking for. I want all the criticism that you can throw at me, the good with the bad. Sitting here waiting.